A secret letter written by PM Narendra Modi to Congress VP Rahul Gandhi soon after the recent five state elections has been leaked online. Here is the full text of the letter:
13th March 2017
Dear Rahul ji,
The elections are over, and they have gone largely as per plan. Your efforts were invaluable in Uttar Pradesh. Akhilesh beta never realized that "Hand" is used to stop a "Bicycle", not to accelerate it ! But he is still young, will learn over time. In fact your efforts in U.P. were so effective that there was also a strong rub-off on neighboring Uttarakhand. A big thank you for this! We are also very happy with what happened in Manipur, where we were a big Zero just five years ago! There was a slight problem in Goa, but I admit it was all our own fault. Parrikar ji was not there, and our people were busy fighting amongst themselves. However we have fixed that problem now, so don’t worry. Meanwhile, you are free to imagine that it is the Congress who won the mandate in Goa and Manipur. Victory - after all - is just a state of mind.
We are however not at all happy with what happened in Punjab. This is a serious matter. You should have campaigned more vigorously in Punjab instead of leaving everything to Amarinder Singh ji. It seems you were focused only on Uttar Pradesh. This is sheer negligence. Because of this, deadlines for Project “Congress-mukt Bharat” will now have to be pushed forward to 2022. But it is okay this one last time, we are letting you off with just a warning.
You are now free to resume your foreign holiday. This is a good time to visit Bangkok. It always is! You can plan for a visit to Europe too, but don’t, even by mistake, go to the U.S.! I hope you remember what happened in 2001? Luckily Atalji was able to help you that time, but this time we may not be able to do anything. Trump Uncle is very strict. He may suspect you are there to sell kitchen utensils, Made in Jaunpur, of course. So please take care.
And yes, don’t forget to return for Karnataka elections next year.