God's own country!

Back from a refreshing trip of Kerala!

Calm and serene backwaters. Tender coconuts. Mouth-watering banana chips. The tempting aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Houseboats. Spices. Rare species of birds. Kadla curry with Appam or Puttu. Pothole-free roads. Disciplined traffic. Long winding village names, which only the Mallus can spell and pronounce! Freshly fried fish. Karl Marx & Che Guevara posters.  Clean white dhoti. Uttapa called as a Dosa, and Dosa simply as a plain ‘roast’! Served along with a Vada that you think is complimentary (till you get the bill, that is). A lake so large you think it is the sea. Mundum Neryathum, the unique two-piece sari. "Chinese" fishing nets, that actually use Portuguese technology, not Chinese! Beautiful roadside bungalows. Picturesque inland waterways. Ancient "dembles" (!) mostly dedicated to Shiva, holding some of the world’s largest treasure troves known to man. Thundering rains. A quite & peaceful life. Kerala is unique. Kerala has so much to offer.

And a lot more!

Photogenic tea gardens.  Majestic elephants. Ayurvedic massages. Kathakali. Honest autorickshaw-wallahs!  The list can go on…

Some snippets from my recent visit...

Navigating through the backwaters...

The houseboats and the stunning scenery is without doubt Kerala's biggest tourist attraction

The Mahadevar Temple at Kottayam has some stunning architecture on its walls

The unique "Chinese" fishing nets at Fort Kochi

The Bird sanctuary at Kumarakom offers some beautiful sightings 

A mini-Venice, locals around the Vembanad region move around in boats rather than the road

India awaits freedom

History has it that Kamsa was a cruel and unjust ruler of Mathura. Kamsa was greedy and cunning, and imprisoned his father Ugrasena to become the King of Mathura by deceit. Kamsa aspired to rule the world, and his frequent war mongering left the peace loving people of Mathura harassed and exploited. When he learnt that the eighth son of his sister Devaki & Vasudev would kill him, Kamsa imprisoned them both and killed each of their children as soon as it was born.

But the eighth son, Krishna, survived.

It is said that when Krishna was born, the doors of the prison where Devaki & Vasudev were kept opened automatically, and the guards fell into a hypnotic sleep. It was midnight and raining heavily, but a Sheshnag appeared from nowhere and protected Baby Krishna from the heavy rain. The raging Yamuna calmed down almost by magic, and made way for Vasudev to pass to the other side of the overflowing river. For the next few years, as Krishna grew up in Gokula, Kamsa spent all his time searching for Krishna. He lost his appetite and slept poorly at night. He could see his dream of conquering the world fade away. He got obsessed with the thought of killing Krishna, but all his attempts to assassinate Krishna went in vain. The poisonous Putana could cause no harm, and Trinavarta, the ‘whirlwind’ demon was blown away. Arishta, Keshi, Kaliya and many others fell like ninepins before the might and magic of Krishna. Krishna was unstoppable, Krishna was unbeatable. Krishna was the Supreme Being.

Krishna was an idea whose time had come.

Today, five thousand years later, India again awaits an idea whose time has come.

Peaceful Bulgaria gets a jolt

Bulgaria is a lovely little country of around 7 million people tucked away East of Europe. When I visited the country around 5 years ago, one of the things that struck me as remarkable was the complete absence of any security apparatus anywhere in the country. Being used to the intimidating presence of gun totting security guards, metal detectors and frisking at every nook and corner of the country, the absence of a threat perception among Bulgarians was astonishing.

When I checked into my rented apartment on arriving in the country, my agent – an old lady probably in her fifties - helped me to settle down and showed the place around. At one instance, I had some difficulty understanding the strange locking system on the outer door of my apartment, which she was trying to explain. After a few unsuccessful attempts at teaching me how to lock & unlock the door, she politely said that if I found I could not understand the lock, I could leave the door open while going to office - no one would take anything! I looked at her in total disbelief, but over the next few weeks realized she had really meant it.

Outside the President's Residence - the guards have gone home!

My office, at that time, was located right in the front of the President’s Residence, in the heart of the capital city Sofia. The majestic building stood there almost discreetly, watching life go by. There would only be one security guard at the gate who stood on duty for the entire building. He too would leave at 6:00 PM in the evening and after that, there would be no one! The National Assembly, which stood a stone’s throw away, looked similarly commonplace. You could easily walk up the stairs or take photographs, with no one even casting a glance at what you were doing. No rifle wielding commandos, no cars flashing their red beacons, no VIP cavalcades bringing traffic to a halt. It was clear to me that Bulgarians had no enemies, nothing to fear. Having come out of the Iron Curtain, the country had at that time one of the highest growth rates in Europe and was looking forward optimistically to joining the European Union. 

In fact, the only time I saw any security presence in the country was when the then U.S. President George Bush visited Sofia. For his visit, some of the principal roads in the city were cordoned off, traffic was diverted and there were policemen all around. The night before Mr. Bush was due to arrive, as I walked home late from office, a policeman stopped me and asked for my identity. After showing him my papers and answering a few questions, I proceeded home. Clearly, Mr. Bush had enemies, though the Bulgarians didn’t.

Last week, a powerful bomb ripped across the coastal city of Burgas in Eastern Bulgaria, killing 5 Israeli tourists and injuring many others. The tragic attack has shattered the peace and harmony of this beautiful country. If the attack changes this permanently, it would be a sad day indeed.

Buddham Sharanam Gachhami !

Long before India started exporting spices or software, Ideas, Thought Leadership and Spirituality were the earliest exports from India to the world. The zero and the decimal system, which forms basis of the numbering system that the world uses today, was invented in India. Kautilya’s Arthashastra, written in the 4^th Century BC, laid down the principles of governance, public administration and taxation several centuries before modern-day economics or political science was born. Wonders of modern science, from aircrafts to surgeries have all been mentioned in ancient Indian texts. Ayurveda holds the secrets of good health which modern day researchers are trying to discover and patent. Sushruta’s Sushruta Samhita, written in 800 BC mentions more than 300 surgeries, including the likes of plastic surgery, cataract and caesarian section. The techniques of Yoga and Meditation as key to a healthy body and a healthy mind are seeing resurgence in the West.

Grand Buddha statue at the pagoda

One of the ideas that India gave birth to, and were embraced by the world, were the teachings of Gautam Buddha. From Mongolia in the North to Sri Lanka in the South, and from South East Asia to Japan, Buddhism is today the fourth largest religion in the World. Close to half a million people in the world follow Buddha and his teachings as their principal religious order.

Buddha taught that suffering is an ingrained part of existence, but it is possible to end it by following the right path. The right path, he said is the eight – fold noble path of right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness and right concentration. Buddha said no teachings should be accepted unless they are borne out by our experience and are praised by the wise. Buddha held that two qualities are rare among humans: Katannuta that is, Gratitude and Pubbakarita, which is, initiative to help others without expecting anything in return. These two qualities are the true measure of progress.

A grand Pagoda, styled along traditional Burmese architecture, has come up in Mumbai recently.  The pagoda, built by the Global Vipassana Foundation seeks to spread the true teachings of Buddha and  promotes the practice of Vipassana Meditation that was said to have been practiced by Buddha himself.

The Pagoda claims to contain the largest pillar-less dome structure in the World, 90 feet in height and 280 feet in diameter. Built using 2.5 million tonnes of stone and 3,000 truckloads of sand, the pagoda towers to a height of a 30-storey building. Underneath it is a huge meditation hall which can accommodate 8,000 people at a time. It has been designed as a replica of Shwe Dagon Pagoda of Myanmar. Relics of Gautam Buddha are enshrined at the site. The entire complex, apart from the main pagoda, contains several other structures such as an art gallery, a library, two other smaller pagodas, an auditorium, a food court etc. Exquisite samples of traditional Burmese architecture can be seen throughout the campus. The art gallery contains stunning paintings depicting the life of Gautam Buddha from birth to death. An excellent facility, to listen to the story of each painting as you move along the gallery, using a tape and earphones is available. This makes the visit to the gallery worthwhile and meaningful, as it enhances our understanding of the life of Gautam Buddha and his teachings. The pagoda is located off the coast of Gorai, in Mumbai. Take a look some day.

The Jarawa debate: Is backwardness "culture"?

The Jarawa tribals of the Andaman were in the news this week. A news video put out by The Guardian showing Jarawa women and children dancing in front of the camera for the benefit of tourists caused uproar in the country. Local media picked up the story and the Government has now ordered an enquiry.

The Jarawa are one of the four Negrito aboriginal tribes inhabiting the Andaman Islands. Their total population is said to be just around 250 or so. These tribes are said to be among the direct descendants of man’s earliest ancestors who migrated from Africa around 65,000 – 70,000 years ago. As late as till the 1990s, the Jarawa were said to be living in their forests in complete isolation and had resisted all contact with outsiders. But in the last fifteen years, the Jarawa have gradually shed their isolation.

I first heard of the Jarawa during my recent visit to the Andaman Islands. On our way to the Limestone Caves in North Andaman, our bus passed through the dense tropical rain forests of Middle Andaman, home of the Jarawa tribes. We passed through these forests escorted by a police convoy. The vehicles were not allowed to stop for a stretch of about 50 kilometers till we reached the other end of the forest. On a couple of occasions during our journey, the Jarawa came close to the passing vehicles, providing a glimpse to the shocked tourists. Their faces were painted yellow and they wore nothing.

This notice pasted in our bus said it all. Though unscrupulous tour operators need to be dealt with severely, there is no reason to deny Jarawa the benefits of modern development 

The construction of the 300-odd kilometer long Great Andaman Trunk Road that runs north – south through the length of Andaman and through the heart of the Jarawa inhabited forest has opened up an opportunity to integrate the Jarawa into the national mainstream. In fact, the Jarawa have now started to venture out of their forests, initiating contact with human civilization. Though extremely hostile initially, the Jarawa are reported to have turned friendly in recent years, asking for food or even medical aid with villagers and farmers living on the fringes of the forests.

But it is unfortunate that some NGOs and environmental groups have been fighting for the closure of the Road, demanding the Jarawa not be ‘disturbed’ or ‘their territory’ not encroached upon. Terms such as ‘human safaris’ used liberally in the media have unnecessarily sensationalized the issue. The Jarawa deserve the benefits of progress and development as much as any other people. Keeping them backward and in isolation in the name of ‘preserving their culture’ is clearly not the way to go.

Durgotsav 2011

Some glimpses of the local Durga Puja celebrations in our neighbourhood, the Lokhandwala Durgotsav 2011.

The Durga idol in the main pandal 

Robindro Shonggit?

Noted singer Abhijeet also joined in the celebrations

And what's this unique traditional dance form called?

Finally, the most important pujo....!!

Tasted my favourite 'misht doi' after a long time.....!

Ay dil hai mushkil jeena yahaan…

A recent survey by The Economist ranks Mumbai among the "world’s worst cities to live". 

In a global ranking of 140 cities, Mumbai has finished at 116. The city’s poor ranking has evoked hardly any reaction from its political leadership, or even its people, who seem to have resigned themselves to their poor fate. Are things really this bad, or aren’t they? After twenty years of economic reforms, the financial capital of one of the world’s fastest growing economies (all the things the ‘experts’ on CNBC or elsewhere tell us) ranks 116^th on “livability”. What is it that the world looks at, that we are missing out on?

The Economist’s survey gauged cities on five categories - political and social stability, healthcare, culture and environment, education and infrastructure. Here is my take on the topic.

1. Stability: Prevalence of crime, threat of terror / military conflict or civil unrest:

Look at the numbers. More than 5,000 cases of petty crime and violence, such as chain snatching, rape, dacoity, theft etc. were reported in Mumbai in the first four months of 2011 alone. This excludes white collar crime, corruption and the like.

The city has seen 8 terror attacks in the last 10 years, killing nearly 500 people and injuring many more, not to mention the communal riots of 1992-93 or the serial bomb blasts of 1993 that killed more than 250. The world gives no marks for the “spirit of Mumbai” which springs back to its feet the next day after every bomb blast. Against this, I have visited countries where I was told there is no need to lock your home while going out – “nobody will take anything”.

2. Healthcare: Availability of private and public healthcare, drugs and general health indicators:

This is something that India itself scores very poorly on, and Mumbai is no exception. The United Nations’ Human Development Index ranks India at 119 out of 169 countries. The HDI measures life expectancy, literacy, education and standards of living for countries worldwide. It is a standard means of measuring well-being.

In Mumbai, public healthcare is the responsibility of the Brihan Mumbai Municipal Corporation. But for a city of more than 1 crore people, the BMC provides just 4 ‘teaching’ hospitals, 5 specialized hospitals, 16 peripheral hospitals, 28 municipal maternity homes and 14 maternity wards. Most of the residents (80 % plus) rely on expensive private medical care. The result? 32 per cent of the reported ailments in the city remained untreated. Even today, seven to eight per cent of all deliveries in Mumbai happen at home.

3. Culture and Environment: This covers factors such as climate, culture and environment.

Air pollution levels are five times higher than acceptable levels and a quarter of water the city drinks is actually  unfit for consumption.

Noise pollution is high, rising and during festivals reaches alarming levels.

4. Education: This covers availability and quality of public and private education.

Mumbai has literally thousands of schools, colleges and educational institutions. Clearly, no shortage of quantity here, but when it comes to quality, like the rest of the education system in India, there is still a lot to be desired. The education system is actually an ‘examination system’ and churns out graduates who are skilled at nothing. As per an Assocham study, India was at the last position in terms of quality of secondary education in seven emerging market economies.

Goldman Sachs says the lack of quality education was one of the 10 factors holding India back from rapid economic growth.

5. Infrastructure: Quality of road network, public transport, international links, availability of good quality housing, energy, water etc.

Ah! The less said about this the better! Mumbai’s transport system is one of the most congested in the world. More than 1.5 million vehicles cram the city’s potholed roads with utter disregard to traffic discipline. Even the smallest of rains are enough to clog the streets with water. Trains of 1700 passenger capacity ferry more than 4500 passengers each during peak hours. More than 60 % of the city’s population lives in slums, where even  shanties cost more than a couple of million rupees. 

For water, the city still looks to the Rain Gods every year. According to a World Bank study, of the 27 Asian cities with populations of over 1,000,000, Mumbai is ranked as second worst performer in terms of hours of water availability per day. And despite this, 700 million liters of water, or 20 % of its daily supply, is lost daily due to theft, illegal connections and leakages.

Basically, nobody cares.

Building sky-scrapers and flyovers does not constitute development; there is a lot more to making a place ‘livable’ than the city’s leadership would like to believe. But is anybody listening?

The 'unwanted'

The discrimination against the girl child knows no bounds. The Times of India reports that in a shocking incident, the District Health Administration in Satara District of Maharashtra has identified 222 girls in the age group of 0 – 16 with names “Nakoshi” (meaning ‘Unwanted”, in Marathi) who will be rechristened and given ‘regular’ names so that they are able to carry out their lives normally.

Many of the developed countries have laws which permit or prohibit what name a child can be given. For example, New Zealand has a list of 102 names, which include “Adolf Hitler” which are banned. Portugal bans ‘Mona Lisa’, while in Norway, there is a ban on ‘swear and sex words, illnesses and negative names’. In Australia, Registrars can refuse to register a name which is considered ‘obscene, offensive, too long, consists of symbols without phonetic significance or is contrary to public interest’. In the USA, ‘numbers are not allowed’, while in Denmark, prohibited names include ‘monkey’ and Japan bans ‘Akuma’ (which means Devil).

India’s problem is however, different and no such law is likely to solve it. As parents of these 222 children would vouch, a girl child simply is ‘nakoshi’, whatever name she may be called with. The latest census data shows that the child sex ratio in India has deteriorated over the last 10 years. ‘Progressive’ and prosperous states like Maharashtra fare significantly worse than the National average and sit at the bottom of the National rankings.

Child population in the age group of 0 – 6 years:

Females per 1000 males	2001	2011	Decline
All India	927	914	1.4 %
Maharashtra	913	883	3.3 %

(Source: Census of India, 2011)

A recent paper predicted that India would have 20% more men than women in the next two decades due to sex-selective abortion and craze for male child. Clearly, hundreds of girls are being in killed our country even before, or soon after they are born. This is mass murder at the highest scale. It is estimated 8 million female fetuses may have been aborted in India in the past one decade alone.

Little is being done to arrest this trend. The Pre-Conception and Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques (PC & PNDT) Act was passed in 1994, which makes sex determination of the child before birth illegal. But there is overwhelming evidence to suggest that abortion of the female fetus continues with impunity. The number of convictions under the PC & PNDT Act are minimal, with only 13 convictions across the entire country in 2010 and only 2 in Maharashtra.

Ironically, the rapid rise in the number of Sonography Centres in recent years might have contributed to this disturbing trend. For example, in 2004, there were 4,345 such centres in Maharashtra, a number that has swelled to 7,939 by 2010-11. A study conducted in 2004 observes that higher the number of Sonography centres in a region; poorer is the sex ratio. Selective sex abortion is now a Rs.1000 crore industry. The Maharashtra Government is now working on a system of compulsory online registration of every sonography conducted by a Sonography centre in the state. But it is doubtful how successful the experiment will be.

Policing can only do this much. What is needed is for attitudes to change. And until that happens, hundreds of Nakoshis will continue to be killed even before they are born. And many of those who are lucky enough to be born will be left to suffer a lifetime of discrimination and injustice. 

Hum Do, Hamare Do

A friend, who has a 7 year old child, is in a dilemma – whether to plan for a second child or not. As a father of two kids aged 8 and 3, I have rather strong (and some of you may find, surprising) views on the subject. I am putting them down here, and hope they trigger a chain of thought in you as well.

Of late, there has been a growing (and disturbing, in my opinion) trend among the educated, urban elite to go for only one child. A random check among more than 50 of my friends who are a parent show more than 60 % of them have only one child. This is in sharp contrast to the trend a generation back. Most of these friends themselves have atleast one sibling, but now when it is their turn to ‘deliver’ (literally!), they have stopped at one, giving no such privilege (of having a sibling) to their own child.

 I have heard people give all sorts of reasons on why they don’t want to plan for a second child. “Raising one child itself is too much for me! Look at my kid, she never listens to anyone! I can’t even think of having two!” is a common refrain.  Others want to “give their best” to their child, and so don’t want to have two, thinking that their energies will get divided if they have two kids, and leave deficiencies in their parental responsibilities. Or perhaps, it sounds “hep” and fashionable to have only one child, does it? Does it make a statement that you have “arrived”? Mind you, I am talking about the well educated, double income (often), urban middle and upper class, the well heeled, who have no financial constraints in raising a second child, and yet opt for only one. Why should they not give their child a privilege that their own parents were kind enough to give them?

What happens if you have two kids at home instead of one? Sure, there are some sacrifices involved, especially in the first couple of years of child birth. The would-be mother has to undergo nine months of pregnancy again, and after the child is born, you have to take some extra precautions and restrict your movements around for some time.  The housework goes up, and you might need an extra maid for a couple of years till the child is in its infancy. But these are minor inconveniences, when you consider the benefits that last a lifetime.

When the kids are young and growing, having a sibling at home brings immense benefits. They play with each other, learn to share, compete, even quarrel and then play again. They take care of each other, provide each other company, leaving the parents free to do their own thing. My elder daughter, who is eight years old, readies her younger one for school.  When they grow up, having an extended family only adds to one’s universe of love and affection. Think about it.

Two little emperors better than one!

What are the effects of a child being single on the child’s personality and emotional development? Researchers have studied this for decades, and the subject has attracted widespread attention and debate, especially in China where it is known as the “Little Emperor Syndrome”. A whole generation of Chinese “singletons”, born after the one-child norm was introduced for urban adults in 1979, are now in their youth. Some researchers have reported extreme pressure on these “Little Emperors” (typically, single child of well-to-do parents) to excel in education and elsewhere, and extreme pampering resulting in “stunting of social and emotional growth”. Some have reported these children are “....being over-indulged, lacking self discipline and having no adaptive capabilities”. In March 2007, some 30 delegates in the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference (CPPCC) called on the government to abolish the one-child rule, attributing their beliefs to "social problems and personality disorders in young people". But some other researchers have reported “no reliable differences between only children and those with siblings”. Some in the West claim single kids “mature early” and are “more achievement oriented”, pressured as they are from their parents for fulfilling their own unfulfilled dreams. (Information in this paragraph sourced from Wikipedia)

Whatever the truth, I do not see ‘single’ children benefiting in any significant way from the so-called ‘extra’ care and attention given to them as a result of their being the only child of their parent. Clearly, love and affection does not reduce if you divide it into two! Benefits of having a sibling thus appear to far outweigh the disadvantages (if any at all) of having one. I see no reason why today’s well educated, double income, upper class, urban elite should deprive their child of a brother or a sister.

Adoption – a primer

A friend of mine adopted a child recently.

Given the lack of awareness about this extremely important and sensitive subject, I thought of putting in a few lines on this subject. I hope this article will be of help to those who have been thinking about adopting a child but have not yet taken the first step, as also to those who have not, but need to!

Let’s face it; a family is incomplete without a child. Kids make a home come alive. The crying, the laughing, the running around, the playfulness, the joy of watching them grow up – there’s nothing like it. The joy that you get, when your child comes running to you and gives a sweet hug as you step into your home in the evening is unparalleled. It makes the whole day’s hard work worthwhile. Why earn money if you have no one to pass it on to?

There was a time when the number of children a couple had would make a cricket team. Both my parents have siblings running into double digits.  Not all of them are alive, in fact, some of them passed away in their youth. But many survived, giving us a big, large extended family.

But times are changing. Educated urban couples are earning more and more money, but producing less and less children. Having three kids is a rarity these days, even two is becoming rare. Most of my friends have just one child. Some have none.

There could be various reasons for this trend – increase in infertility caused by changing lifestyles, working women intentionally postponing pregnancy for the sake of career, late marriages (often second or third ones) or a desire to avoid pregnancy simply to retain that perfect physical figure may be some of the reasons why women may avoid pregnancy. This is of course in addition to the natural medical reasons occurring in either of the spouses causing failure to conceive or deliver.

Whatever the reason, adoption is a solution that many ought to consider.

Regulatory framework

In India, adoption is a subject that comes under the Hindu Adoption & Maintenance Act, 1956. This Act applies to Hindus, Jains, Sikhs and Buddhists. For others, such as Muslims, Christians, etc. adoption is governed by the Guardians & Wards Act, 1890, under which the parent is only the Guardian of the child till she reaches 18 years of age.

The Central Adoption & Resource Agency (CARA), an autonomous body under the Ministry of Women & Child Development of the Government of India is mandated to regulate Adoptions. The Central Government has notified guidelines, which specify that adoptions should be processed only by Government recognized Adoption Agencies. There are more than 300 such Adoption Agencies available all over the country. Any couple desirous of adopting a child can approach them and get enrolled. Last year, around six thousand children were adopted in the country. Recently, the Central Government put the entire process of adoption on an online platform. A national database is being created of the children up for adoption and the number of parents wanting to legally adopt.

Who can Adopt

Any married couple, whether having their own biological child or not, is eligible to adopt a child, subject to other eligibility conditions being satisfied. A single female, having completed 21 years of age, is also eligible to adopt, though a single male is usually not. For a child less than one year of age to be adopted, the combined age of both the parents must not exceed 90 years, and neither parent must be more than 45 years of age.

The child

Adoption Agencies maintain an inventory of children who are available for adoption. These children come to them from various sources, such as children found abandoned at birth by parents, or children willingly given away by parents to the Adoption Agency for some reason. Reasons for the later could be the child being illegitimate and not being ‘acceptable’ to the couple, or death of one or both the parents in an accident, or if the biological parent(s) thinks they will not be able to raise the child properly due to poor financial conditions or any other reason. In some cases, the Agency knows the identity of the biological parents of the child, in some cases it may not. In any case, the identity of the biological parents and adopted parents is kept strictly secret from each other. This ensures that there are no problems later on, when the child grows up.

The Adoption process

The interested couple needs to approach a recognized Adoption Agency and register themselves. One can also register with more than one Agency, if necessary. In the application, the interested couple has to give all the details not just of their name and address, but also employment, income, family background, references etc and satisfy the Adoption Agency of their genuineness and ability to raise the child. The Adoption Agency checks the antecedents of the couple, conducts detailed interviews with the couple and even with the references. It satisfies itself that the couple is financially sound and emotionally stable and can raise the child properly.

The couple can choose whether they want a boy or a girl, giving appropriate justification. They can also specify other preferences such as a particular age group, skin colour, special features etc. However, more the conditions one specifies, the more difficult it is to find a suitable match. It is heartening to note that the number of couples choosing girls is more than those opting for boys.

When the child is identified (and even before), the Adoption Agency performs a lot of counselling and provides training to the adopting parent(s). It is natural that the prospective parents have a lot of questions in their mind – Who is this child? What is her background? Will she ‘gel’ in our family when she grows up? Will she be healthy? It is upto the Agency to speak to the prospective parents and give them the confidence to go ahead with the decision.

As part of its adoption obligations, the adopting couple needs to create a fund in the name of the child and deposit specified money in it at regular intervals. An alternate “guardian” also needs to be given, who will “inherit” the child in the unfortunate event of the death of both the adopting parents before the child grows up.

Even after the adoption process is complete, the Adoption Agency performs regular checks to see that the commitments given by the parents are met and in the event of not being satisfied, can take the child back. After observing for a period of more than three to six months, the Agency can clear the child for adoption and only then, the court passes a final order completing the Adoption. After that, the parents can apply for the birth certificate of the child with their names mentioned as ‘parents’ on it. The Adoption Agency will continue to visit the child to see that she is taken good care of, for a period of 10 years from the time of adoption. An important aspect of raising the child is that as the child grows up, she is gradually told that she is adopted and not the biological child of the parents. This ensures that she does not get an emotional shock when she grows up, if she learns the truth from some other sources.

Conclusion

As mentioned above, the number of couples without a child, either out of choice or otherwise, is on the rise. On the other hand, our country also has a large number of children, who deserve a better life, but are not able to get it for no fault of theirs. In such a case, adopting a child meets the needs of both, the child and the parents, and makes life worthwhile. For educated urban couples who can afford a child or two, the joys and pleasures of having a child at home far exceed the pain and costs of it. While population control is a priority in a country like India, it needs to happen at the bottom of the pyramid, not at the top of it. But that is a topic I will reserve for another day!

Relevance of Durga Puja today

I went to the local Durga Puja festivities yesterday. The “Durgostav”, as it is called, at Lokhandwala has become very popular lately, with not just the entire Bengali community in the area coming together but everybody else too. The below photograph is main deity from this year’s pandal.

Watch the photograph. To be politically correct, it symbolizes the victory of good over evil, with Goddess Durga holding a spear in her hand and killing a demon. This is our original culture, and I find nothing wrong in it. Kill the demons.

The idea of non-violence came later on, and was probably ‘promoted’ by the British (our enemies at that time) since it suited them the most! Better have a non-violent enemy than a violent enemy, right? We need to bury it now. Now-a-days, I find ‘the spirit of non-violence’ has become an excuse to hide our weaknesses. As a nation, we have become too docile and lazy. We have become non-violent not because we believe in it, but because it is the easy way out. We take refuge in it under the wrong notion that it gives us the ‘high moral ground’ in front of others. The result? It allows evil to exist, sustain and spread. Time to shun it. If not, why worship Durga at all?